Stealing the Internets

I consider myself a bit of a technophile. I just love the electronic gadgets, the fiddling around and the discovery of some brand new application or tool deep inside a device that may fit in the palm of your hand.

But Japan has proven more than a challenge to my love of technology.

First off, I get computers at both of my junior high school desks. Hurray! Unfortunately, they are both completely and totally in Japanese. Ive figured out some tools, thanks to the reliability of PC functions (I was quite impressed with myself for setting up the language tool bar so I could type words in English) but some others are still a complete mystery. And when it comes to more impressive, more complicated functions, well, I might as well be beating a rock with another rock. And of course using the nifty Japanese keyboards is an adventure unto itself, where it seems absolutely impossible to get an apostrophe in English.

This would not be such an issue, except that last Sunday, the Internet mysteriously died at my apartment. My predecessor informed me he had left it on until the 20th, by which time I would have my gaijin card and could begin the long, red-taped process of creating my own. (One of my first lessons in Japan: there is no such thing as too much red tape.) I tried everything, turning it off, turning it back on, turning the computer off and on, the modem AND the computer, unplugging every wire I could get to. Nothing. No response.
The logic would be that my predecessors Internet simply cut out early. However, my phone is also tied to the modem, and thus the land line, and it functions just fine. So why would the phone, which arguably seems to be linked to the Internet, work, but the Internet itself doesnt?

The short story of it is, I am resigned to using whatever Internet I can steal away here at school.

As a rule, I try not to use the Internet except for Japanese studying or vocab/kanji checking. However, this week is the Obon festival, and though my vice principal has been fleeting in and out all day, there have only been two teachers in the staff room, and one of them left by about 10 am. Ive been correcting a speech for the English competition, but translating from Japanese into more proper English is making my brain explode a little.

(Ex: `It readily went to McDonalds in Japan and was terribly courageous though was able to order in the United States.` I translated as `I could order bravely from McDonalds in Japan, but in the United States I wasn`t very courageous.`)

So, a small... um, two hour long... break was in order.

Honestly, not having Internet was a little bit rattling. Having no Internet and no cell phone here is rather like to being left on a deserted island. A deserted island with lots of rice. I cant contact my supervisor, any of my teachers (for those days that I, oh, I dont know, get lost on the bus for two hours), or any other JETs in case of OMG CULTURE FREAKOUT.

Fortunately, this weekend was quite busy with prefecture orientation and a Japanese baseball game. On Monday, after hours and hours and hours of confusing applications (youd think I was buying a kidney and not a keitai) I received my very own phone.

And it has a TV function! No, seriously, I can watch TV on my cell phone! And browse the Internet (the TV is free, the Yahoo! browser is not.) I have even an email address on my cell phone... I think. I have no idea quite how to work all of it (they call texting email, and actual email is something else, and then theres SM and SMS! Mail, so it all gets very confusing.)

But still, cell phone! And I also received my gaijin card, so Internet is only a few more dozen applications away. I am a card-carrying member of Japan... literally!

Work has been both overwhelming and boring. Helping with the speech contests has become kind of like a hobby, trying to think of new ways to help them wrap their mouths around l and th sounds. The kids are great sports... though in one speech, a student sometimes substitutes an h sound in the middle of -sit- and..... well, I managed to take a few deep breaths and not fall over laughing as he said it over, and over, and over again.

I miss everyone from back home, though honestly, it still feels as if good ol Wisconsin is just a hop, skip, and jump away. Which is weird, since an hour long train ride to the capital city of my prefecture feels like an eternity whenever I start making plans with people.

Im starting to have my surprises and my `well this sucks` and `this is cool!` moments. I am trying very hard to focus on the positive, and not let snags mess up the upcoming year for me.

But I must say one thing. Bicycling in Japan, or at least in rural Japan, sucks monkey balls. Hard. All the streets are pretty narrow, and sidewalks are an act of God when you actually come across them... otherwise you have about three feet to four feet wide shoulders, with zooming vehicles of death on one side, and Gaijin traps on the other (otherwise known as rice paddy irrigation channels.) Additionally, my prefecture has the highest number of automobile accidents in all of Japan.

Which is bizarre to me, because it seems as if nearly everyone in Japan at least owns a bicycle and uses it fairly frequently. Ive certainly seen more bikes here in these past few weeks than I think I saw all year in Wisconsin. Just one of those interesting dichotomies, I guess.

Though Im not thinking -Interesting!- on that long bike ride from here to the next town over. Next time... Im just gonna take the train.

Springtime for Hitler

Another hot day. Ready to test your Calsius skills? Today is Kagawa-ken, it was 35 degrees. Take a guess how much that is Fahrenheit-that's right. Over 85 degrees. Ah, hot, sticky goodness.

It's been a busy weekend. Today has been very chill... Mostly me sitting here at home, taking a feeble stab at Japanese cooking. Instant curry, hey! It's fun to not be able to read instructions on food-thank God for pictures! Course pictures can be just as confusing... I think I might have bought chips that taste like buttered bread. And getting my rice cooker to work has consisted of randomly pushing buttons and seeing what happens. With early evening setting in, I'm going to take another look around town and get some pictures, if I can. I'd have pictures for you all, but my darn card reader is putting up a fight. Far as I can tell, I've downloaded everything I need, but still my computer stubbornly refuses to recognize it. Which is a real shame, because I've got some wonderful pictures from the last few days. 

Friday was a lot more relaxing at school. One of my JTEs brought me some delicious lunch and salted rice balls, which were DELICIOUS. The music teacher also invited me to listen to the Brass Band Club, who has a competition on the 4th. They were doing a compilation of Broadway songs, and I made the mistake of singing along to "Springtime for Hitler." So, they asked me to sing the lyrics for them. For anyone who isn't familiar with "The Producers," it goes a little something like this....

"Springtime for Hitler and Germany,

Rhindeland's a fine land once more

Springtime for Hitler and Germany,

Watch out, Europe!

We're going on tour!"

Well my JTE was having some trouble translating, so I said," Oh, it's a comedy musical about Germany invading Europe!" She explains it to the students, and their faces just sort of freeze in shock and horror. Unfortunately, my Japanese is too weak to fully explain "satirical humor," so... poor kids. It was like I told them they were playing a song from "I Killed My Puppy With a Crowbar." 

Friday night a bunch of local JETs gathered a local eatery (and by local, I mean 15 minutes by train and 10 minutes by foot. Close enough.) I forgot how awkward it is being around new people. I haven't had to dance the Social Scene jig in a while, and I felt quite rusty. Constantly reminded yourself not to talk too much or be too perverted is quite exhausting, but everyone seems very nice, and the food wasn't so bizarre. Though I think they fed me chicken knuckles.... and Japanese mayonnaise.

Saturday we went to a barbecue in Tadotsu, and me and another new JET got to compare notes. I really miss everyone that I met in Tokyo-the JETs here have been incredibly nice and helpful, but there's something about sharing fears and excitements with other new people... for the other JETs, it's totally old-hat, and for us, it's AMAZING. I still find trains a thing of wonder. 

After the barbecue, we went to a festival in a nearby town, which was a whole lot of standing and water-throwing. Mostly men from the town carried this 80 meter straw dragon through the streets, and people threw water on it to wish for rain and good luck. I managed to avoid getting drenched... except for my pants. Those didn't avoid the onslaught. 

I haven't experienced culture shock just yet, I think. Unless shock involves extreme confusion and nerves. I'm missing people back home a lot, but I suppose I'm lucky... I get along pretty well no matter where you stick me. Of course, I'm not cut off from people just yet. We'll have to see how well I fare then. I just hope I can get a hold of someone, when and if that happens. I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for a Gaijin registration card so I can get a phone, Internet, and bank account. Until then, I send this message out into the void.

Good night, sweet void. You've served me well this day. 

He Mele No Lilo

My first day at work-as if yesterday hadn't felt overwhelming enough as it is. I am not proud of my poor Japanese skills (and they must be incredibly poor indeed, since the mantra we've gotten is you'll constantly be hearing "Ooo nihongo o jyosu desu ne!" and I've only heard it from 3 or 4 people) but I think if I had walked in without any I would be panicking even more. 

I just feel as if I am doing everything half-ass backwards, and it doesn't matter that I'm a foreigner, they still look at me like an idiot. The teachers I interacted with today-the vice principal, and largely the two English teachers-were very nice and helpful, but huge mounds of the conversation were in Japanese and flew right over my head. I got the impression I was embarrassing or inconveniencing them constantly... I automatically told the vice principal "Bless You" when she sneezed, but that apparently just embarrasses them. I forgot everyone's names, and stumbled over the simplest pronunciation. Seriously, "なまえ" is not that hard! I had only chicken for lunch, since I can't cook any complicated dishes, and the teachers giggled over my lack of rice. 

So it's been a pretty strange day. JETs who took me out for food this evening said it's completely typical, so maybe survival is an option. Who knows, I might even form a coherent Japanese sentence someday. 

"Kalakaua is his name, a flower that never fades in the sun. It blooms on the summit on the mountain, Mauna Kea. Burning bright at Kilauea, illuminating Wahinekapu."

We All Live In A Yellow Submarine

I am here, in humidity-soaked Japan. What an experience the last four days have been. After I've finished reeling from the jetlag (no pun intended) maybe it'll sink in. Or maybe it won't sink in for days yet. I still kinda feel like I'm back in the States, even though in reality I am halfway across the world. 

Internet helps, I think. My predecessor was absolutely wonderful and lent me his modem until the 20th of August, around which time I'll hopefully be well on my way to getting my own. The apartment is quite lovely, as well. It's filled with odd little ends and crannies, and there are a couple of things I'll need before I can fully call it home, but it's very nice. I also visited one of my two schools today and meet my supervisor, principal, and all of the English teachers I'll be working with. Needless to say, it was nerve-wracking, and I'm glad to have it out of the way. 

Not even a week in, and I've checked two "Experience Japan!" items off my list: karoke (never again will I tackle you, Celine Dion) and this evening I went to my first revolving sushi place. It was... pretty interesting. Especially for 126 yen a plate!

Goodbye America, Hello Japan

And here we......go. 

Away From Her

I have about 8 more days in the States. I move out of my house tomorrow (ish), and the nail-biting anticipation and horror of what I am actually about to set into has not yet sunk into my plan-idled head. I have spent the last few weeks so busy planning-planning money, planning transportation, planning packing, planning go away meetings with local friends-I've at times downright forgotten the whole purpose of the planning: that in 192 hours, I will be bound for a country halfway round the world.

It starts to feel a little strange. I hear announcements on the radio about how such-and-such fair, or play, or movie is coming out on such-and-such a date, and my immediate reaction is," Cool I want to see that, what am I doing on.... Oh yeah." I'm emerging onto a whole new social scene. As the Planning For Japan comes to a grinding halt, I am filled with a kind of nervous void, because I have no idea what to expect once actually landed. I have no expectations with which to plan around. So planning, which had become a way to venting my anxiety, has finally at long last failed me.

My planning always involved a touch of paranoia. Everyone on the boards of course says the same: "chill out, just come in with good intentions and be open to new experiences and you'll do fine," but I feel myself wanting to play the indignant teenager-screw you, you can't understand what I'm going through, you were never a first year JET, blah blah. I mean, honestly, my logical brain knows that the road to hell is paved with unrealistic expectations and that "it takes more muscles to frown than smile" is an annoying but necessary mantra, but come on, chill out? I'm moving to a small town in a foreign country with two suitcases, $2,000 (that's 211,640 Y for the folks playing at home), and an apartment that might, hopefully, be clean, though my predecessor said he's applied at least three loads of bleach to it.

But hey, I'm chill. I'm cool. I can fight every natural urge in my nature to form some kind of expectation about what the next year of my life 'll be like. A-okay Skipper.

Thankfully, I did finally get my contract, and it clarified what had been predicted: I am in Mitoyo City, which is to a city what a hybrid is to a car: has the same general appearance but is distinctively different in the gears. Mitoyo was created by combining 7 smaller villages, and it is in one of those villages I am actually situated. I am teaching at two middle schools, and a handful of elementary schools whenever they feel. I have an apartment with a bed, a TV, a fridge, a cooking stove, and a bicycle. I may not have Internet for months, and I may get my underwear stolen if I leave it to dry outside, but overall, the living seems suitable. And functional. I like em functional.

Though it may be selfish to admit, the thought that 2,000 are going through the same turmoil as I am somewhere in the globe is not comforting. But maybe it will be in Chicago, and then Tokyo. I'm looking forward to sharing my frenzy with people other than the posters on the JET board-ya know, that whole Teenager Angle.

Until then, I have packing and shipping plans to preoccupy me, at least for a short time. And the Dark Knight. I will take comfort in the fact that I'm crazy enough to spend a year alone in Japan, but I'm not yet crazy enough to put on a bat suit and fight psychotic clowns.


PS: I am putting together a Powerpoint, which is actually pretty enjoyable. I'm contrasting Wisconsin with Kagawa, my college town with Mitoyo. However, some of the more "nuanced" aspects of American culture I'm having a hard time articulating, especially in my limited Japanese. I mean, how in the world do you explain Ren Faires?
"Um, people dress up in really tight bodices and linen shirts with hose. They talk in accents that are kinda-sorta-accurate. And pretend they're living in the Renissance. Except it's usually not placed in Italy. Usually it's in England and Scotland, which were still kinda stuck in the Middle Ages even in 1423. But they call it a Ren Faire. Except this one has belly dancers. Oh! And giant turkey legs."

Books To Read

In view of my impending free time in Japan, I have started to compile a list of books to read, some for fun, and some for study. So here we go:

• GRE Examination. This is the book I went with: http://www.borders.com/online/store/TitleDetail?sku=1889057363.
• Flexible Eugenics: Technologies of the Self in the Age of Genetics. By Karen Sue Taussig. R. Rapp and D. Heath, , 2001
• Enchantress of Florance by Salman Rushdie.
• The Great Pigeon Massacre: The Bestiary Biopolitics of Whiteness in a Deindustralizing America. By Hoon Song. Philadelphia: University of Pennsylvania Press, forthcoming.
• The Illusion of Consent: Language, Caste, and Colonial Rule in India: Colonial Subjects: Essays in the Practical History of Anthropology, University of Michigan Press, 117-152, 1999. By Gloria Raheja.